President Obama starts implementing "Redistribution Policies"

Well, dear readers, it's already starting. Yup, "President" Obama has started to implement his grand socialist, and dare I say, totalitarian policy while still on his campaign. That's right, he's already started it. He kicked several reporters, some of whom had been traveling with him since early 2007, off his plane. The reason? Their employers came out and "endorsed" John McCain. How revealing is that? Shutting down media because they don't agree with your political position is SO USSA. Erp, excuse me, USSR. As in Pravda. Isvestia. The reporters were denied their boarding passes as tried to reboard after a campaign stop, and left stranded to find their own ways back to the office. Isn't that nice. What a fair and noble thing to do. Talking about fair, their seats were given to reporters from more liberal outlets.

I don't get it. How can so many believe in hope and change, when it's Obama's hope to change us into a Marxist (read: communist) nation? What is it about socialism and Marxism that is so attractive? It doesn't work very well in England, Canada, the Netherlands, or any place else it has been foisted upon a populace. Hell, even Russia dumped it. Go ahead, make an appointment with a doctor over there in the UK. Tell them you have only six months to live. They'll give you the first available slot. Too bad it's over a year from now. And don't get me started on "The Big Book Of British Smiles"....

To put it another way, a well-dressed businessman was walking down the street late one afternoon, when he saw a homeless guy wearing a sign. It read "Need money. Can't wait for Obama to help." Being an independent, the man nods a brief greeting to the panhandler, and passes him up. Seeing a sign for a steakhouse a couple blocks down, he heads in for some dinner. He orders his meal, Filet Mignon, medium-rare, garlic mashed potatos, salad, a carafe of wine, and enjoys it very much. The waitress waits on him hand and foot, an he has an absolutely fantastic meal. As he finishes, the waitress approaches him with the check, he notices that she is wearing an Obama button on her blouse. A thought suddenly strikes him, probably right in the forehead. He gets out his wallet, inspects the ticket, and asks the waitress who she's voting for. "Why, President Obama, of course!"

"I see," says the businessman. "What is it about him that makes you want to vote for him?"

"I like his idea on 'spreading the wealth'. He represents hope, and change, and change, and hope."

"Ever hear of Karl Marx?"

"No, why? Is he running for something?"

"No, he isn't. Do you go to college?"

"Yes, I do, as a matter of fact."

"Good, so you've heard of experiments, then?"

"Yes, of course. We do them all the time in school."

"I see. Well, I'd like to do my own little experiment. Would you like to assist me?"

"Well, sure, I guess...what does it involve?"

"It's a political science experiment. You've done a really great job waiting on me, and as the ticket here is $100, that would make a standard tip about $15. Is my math correct?"

The waitress says, "That would be a normal tip, yes."

"Well, you've clearly gone above and beyond the call of duty, this was one fantastic meal. One of my favorites, ever. So how does $25 sound?"

The waitress smiled and said "Wow, that sounds great! Thank you sir! I have a textbook I need that this will just about cover, class starts tomorrow!"

The man reaches in and pulls out a $100 bill, hands it to her and says "Thanks for taking part in my experiment." The waitress looks confused.

"I'm taking your $25 tip and giving it to someone I think needs it more. There's this bum about two blocks down, see, and he's been standing there for at least an hour or two with a sign that reads 'Need money', so I thought I'd take your tip and give it to him. You obviously do pretty well here, so I'm going to 'spread the wealth', so to speak."

"But...but...hey, that's not fair! I waited on you hand and foot, and this is the thanks I get? Who the hell are you to take my money that I earned and give it to some homeless bum?" She stormed away in a self-righteous huff, her eyes shooting daggers at the well-dressed man who had just taken her book money away.

"It's all about hope and change!" the man called after her.

The man walks out, and heads back to the bum with the sign. He walks up, hands the guy the $25 that had been the waitress' tip, and says to the man "This is the tip money I was going to give the waitress down there at the steakhouse. I'm redistributing the wealth today, just like Obama is going to do. I suggest that you go down there, find her, and thank her for working so hard to get this much tip money for you. She'll be easy to spot, she has an Obama button on her blouse."

The bum grabs the money, shoves it deep into his grimy pocket, throws down his sign, and dashes across the street to the liquor store. Two minutes later, he emerges, with a bottle in each hand, and lifts one bottle in salute to his benefactor. Then he disappears down an alley.

"From those according to their ability, to those according to their needs..." the man said, as he walked home in the gathering dusk...

Welcome to Wealth Redistribution 101. This has been your first lesson. I hope you enjoy the lab work, the test is Tuesday, November 4th...